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The Top 10 Tips for Juggling Work and Family Life
By: Natalie A. Gahrmann, M.A
1. Build A Support Network.
Ask
for help and allow yourself to be helped and contributed to. Get your
children involved--work together as a team. Recruit friends, family, neighbors,
bosses, work colleagues, etc. and ask for their support. Create back-up
and emergency plans; always have a contingency.
2. Let Go of Guilt.
Guilt is one of the greatest wastes of emotional energy. It causes you to become immobilized in the present because you are dwelling on the past. Guilt can be very debilitating. By introducing logic to help counter-balance the guilt you can stay better on course.
3. Establish Boundaries.
Boundaries are an imaginary line of protection that you draw around yourself. They are about protecting you from other people's actions. Determine for yourself what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from other people.
4. Determine Your Own Standards.
Get rid of the notion of being a perfectionist. Wean yourself off it by making compromises--figure out where the best places to make the compromises are without short-changing yourself, your spouse, your children, your boss, etc. Live by your own standards rather than someone else's. Standards are about YOU and refer to the behavior and actions you are willing to hold yourself to.
5. Find Time For Yourself.
Being a good parent, partner and professional means being good to yourself first. Use your mind to make some affirmations for yourself. Find ways to relax, relieve tension and minimize stress. Taking some time off for yourself will not only benefit you, but it will benefit your family tremendously!
6. Get Organized.
Set priorities, work smarter not harder, delegate (and really let go!). Create lists and save them for re-use. Keep a main calendar centrally located to post everyone's activities.
7. Be Flexible.
Forgive yourself when things don't get done. Understand that with children things change at a moment's notice. Be ready and willing to assume responsibility for any of the tasks that need to get done at any time. Never get too comfortable, because as soon as you seem to get things under control, they change! Also, realize that in order to achieve success many women have had to give up their original goals and substitute new ones with different but equal challenges. Negotiate for what you need.
8. Enjoy Quality Family Time.
Spend quality/focused time with your family. Give them your full attention. Develop rituals you can all look forward to. Create relationships with your spouse and children that are not incidental but rather instumental to your success.
9. Find Reliable Child Care.
Leave your kids in capable hands. Find someone you feel comfortable and confident in. If you're feeling ambivalent about working or about leaving your child, etc. do not show it--your child (at any age) will pick right up on it. Feel proud when you've found someone who fits into your needs. Get involved with your child's care providers by communicating frequently and observing interactions between caregiver and your child.
10. Achieve Balance.
Keep things in perspective. Create harmony in your life--a mixture of work, family and friends. Remember, there is no single formula for balance. It is a personal decision how one combines spouse, children and career.
Copyright by Natalie Gahrmann. All Rights Reserved.
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Natalie
A. Gahrmann, M.A. |
If you have any questions or comments about this publication, feel free to email Russ Webb at russ.webb@spcs.bc.ca.
- Lives in the Balance - A great article about family and work. The double demand on parents is making it harder than ever to do what's best for children. http://www.pta.org/pubs/OC_JanFe.htm
- The Fatherhood Project - is a national research and educational project examining the future of fatherhood and how to support men's involvment in child rearing. http://www.fatherhoodproject.org/
- National Center On Fathers and Families - a resource for fathers. http://www.ncoff.gse.upenn.edu/
- Breaking Out of The Superwoman Syndrome - A free online course! If your cape is getting a little ragged, and the S on your chest is feeling a little heavy it's time for a change! Whether it's "Super" or "Wonder" women know that it's a struggle trying to juggle everything everyday. The problem with trying to do it all, all the time, is that often we neglect ourselves. Breaking the cycle and reclaiming ourselves is the first step in achieving balance.
- Relationship Satisfaction Test - take this online test which will give you a score and interpretation of your score to find out about your own relationship and whether it may be hurting in some way. Have your partner fill it out and see how they percieve your relationship. http://www.queendom.com/rel_sat.html
- Type A Personality Test - If you have a Type A Personality characteristics it will be more difficult to maintain a work/family balance. You may need to address your Type A characteristics first. Try out this online test for free! http://www.queendom.com/typea.html
- The Alliance of Work/Life Professionals - A membership organization with the mission of promoting work/family and personal life balance. The Alliance of WORK/LIFE Professionals is the largest membership organization in the work/life field. http://www.awlp.org/
- Families and Work Institute - non-profit organization that addresses the changing nature of work and family life. It has some great article and resources. http://www.familiesandwork.org/
- Does The Mommy Track Have To Derail You? Tough choices and compromises for working mothers. A well written article by Julian Wilkinson which outlines different ways of addressing this issue for women. http://www.careerbuilder.com/comm_ww_98wco_mommytrack.html
