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Tumbler Ridge Counselling Services |
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Top 10 Holiday Survival Tips: Making the Holidays more Like Holidays |
By Russell Webb
The holidays are a wonderful time of year. For so many, the celebration of Christmas or Hanukkah is a special time for enriching families and giving of ourselves to others. But it can also become the most pressured time of the year, where there is the greatest financial burden, the most family conflict, and the highest expectations for happiness. Hence, here is a top 10 list for surviving the Holidays and maybe even enjoying them.
1. Edit Your
Life
You can't bring on the holidays when you are trying to do extra projects at work, organize raffle tickets, participate in community events, etc. When going into the holidays remember to edit your life in such a way to get rid of the nonessentials. It means that you need to become more assertive and say "No" to events that really don't add any meaning to the season for you personally.
2. Clarify Family Expectations
You can decrease a lot of stress simply by clarifying with your family expectations around Christmas. Sometimes this means that they might get upset with you for a season, but by next Christmas the new pattern will be in place and the expectations will be more in line with what is manageable for you. So, suggest a cut off age for gift giving to nieces and nephews. Agree not to give gifts to every grown family member, but rotate who will give who a gift each year. Remember, if you are lightening your own burden, you are probably also lightening the burden of others in your family - isn't that a great gift in and of itself?
3. Lower Your
Financial Burden 
Talk with your family about expectations. If you can tell your children that they will get one big gift and a few smaller ones it helps them to adjust their expectations and decreases the demand upon your pocket book. Budget your Christmas shopping and stick to it. Take all the credit cards in your family and freeze them in a block of ice and put them in the freezer during this season. If you can get through the holidays without major debt at the other end, you can enjoy the season so much better and not have the guilt.
4. Chuck Perfection - Enjoy Simplicity!
Many people get caught up in trying to have everything just right. They work so hard at trying to make every aspect of the season go perfectly that they forget to take the time to actually enjoy the season. Evaluate the standards that you place upon yourself. You may be your own worst enemy robbing yourself from the joy of the season.
People who are perfectionists tend to cater to others and are concerned with what others will think more than with whether what they are doing fits into their own personal values. If you celebrate Christmas, remember that the first one was not in the most perfect of settings. Give yourself permission to not have things perfectly done and ask others for help.
5. Procrastinate Tomorrow Not Today!
Not procrastinating can help tremendously with respect to all of the preparations for the season. Write out a list of all you need to do over the Holiday Season and (after editing out some of them) then put completion dates beside each item. Get your gift wrapping done before the last minute. Then you can give yourself the gift of relaxation rather than stress!
6. Focus on Meaning Not Activities
Don't just do things because you can do them and you can fit it into your schedule. Rather consider if the event or activity fits in with your values and the meaning of the Season for you and your family. You might want to even schedule time where there is absolutely nothing scheduled. If the Season has a religious meaning for you and your family, ask yourself and your family how your can honor those traditions and meanings. If you are not religious, read a section of "Chicken Soup For The Soul" every night after dinner with the whole family to inspire your family to consider positive meanings and values in the season.
7. Buy Yourself A Gift!
Sometimes we can get so busy making everything perfect for everyone else that we forget to take a break for ourselves. If you are a real "doer" consider giving yourself a gift of time - to relax and reflect. Or give yourself the gift of a message, or maybe buying baked goods rather than stressing out over having to make all home made baking. Being good to yourself in these little ways may also lower the stress for everyone else in your life.
8. Schedule the Season!
Use a calendar and write out all the activities that are possible for you and your family. Then add the activities that you might like to do with just your family or partner. Then weight each item in terms of the meaningfulness of the event for everyone involved and edit out those events that just create more hectic-ness and rob you of more meaningful time. Make sure to say "No" to some things. Ask your kids what you as a family should all say "no" to in order to involve them in what will happen over the Season.
9. Focus On Giving!
So often, families become so wrapped up in all the activities of the season, we can forget to take the time to give to others outside the family - to give to those who really do experience need. It helps bring perspective to our lives and enriches us. Go to an old folks home to visit those who do not get visitors. Make a meal as a family and give it to a family in need. You or your family could baby-sit for a single parent who rarely gets a break. As a family go over and clean someone's home. Go to a non-profit society and ask them how you as an individual or as a family could help during the holiday season. When we give in this way, we are really embracing the most meaningful aspects of the Holiday Season.
10. Let Loose and Have Fun!
Don't forget that in all the business, if you are not having fun you are missing out. For some individuals it means that they have to use alcohol. I challenge you that the best fun and most meaningful fun does not come out of a bottle. If we need a bottle to have fun, we need to ask ourselves why that is the case and really evaluate our lives. But, if you are too busy to enjoy and have fun during the Holiday Season, then it is important to schedule in some fun for yourself and your family. Making a memory of fun enhances family life and creates greater connection between parents and children. And if something doesn't go quite right, laughing is so much more enjoyable than getting upset and angry.
If you have any questions or comments about this publication, feel free to email Russ Webb at russ.webb@spcs.bc.ca.
Internet Resources:
- Tips For Coping With Holiday Stress - An excellent article by John M. Grohol on dealing with Holiday Stress. http://mentalhelp.net/articles/grohol/holiday.htm
- Holiday Stress Beaters - A web page that provides ideas for fighting the stress caused by the Season. http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/4306/Holiday-Stress-Beaters.html
- Holiday Fun! - Learn new games or ideas for you and your kids to do over the holidays! http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/4306/Christmas-fun.html
- Send an Animated Email Christmas Card! - Choose your card and personalize it with your own greeting. http://www.bluemountain.com/
- Christmas Around the World - Learn about how people celebrate Christmas around the world. Incorporate an international flavour to Christmas this year! http://christmas.com/worldview/
- Depression Test Online - Try out this online test to evaluate whether you suffer from a depressive disorder or whether you are at risk. http://www.queendom.com/depression.html
- Festive Drinking's Slippery Slope - An Article on the effects of drinking during the holiday season and what to watch out for. http://thedailyapple.com/level3/ds3/drugalc/drkfsthm.htm
