Issue24



	Tumbler Ridge Counselling Services

Humour is No Joking Matter:
You Need It In Your Life

By Russell Webb, MA

Life is hard! Sometimes it is down right difficult, and it can feel like an overwhelming struggle to simple survive, let alone thrive. We all face difficulties that put us to the test; challenges that stretch us farther than we wanted to go. And if life gets too intense or too overwhelming we can emotionally burn out. The struggle and difficulties can rob us of joy that we used to get out of life. So, we need to develop strategies to protect us from burning out emotionally and mechanisms to give us better balance. A powerful one is humour.

We all need humour in our lives. Laughter is a wonderful way of dealing with the stress and pressure we have in our lives. It has been established for a long time that humour is beneficial for good health - psychologically and physically. Scientists have known for some time that humour and laughing actually help to produce endorphins within the body. Endorphins are a part of the body’s natural pain killing mechanism and help to make people feel better. Thus, a little more laughter within our lives is exactly what the doctor orders. Some people can only get laughter out of drinking or drugs. This is not healthy humour. The best humour and laughter comes alcohol and drug free.

But some people seem to be able to laugh and enjoy life a whole lot more so than others. How can I laugh and smile just a little bit more so? Well, try these seven simple tools to help you get a chuckle out of life:

1. Skew Up Your Perspective. pe01451_.wmf (4486 bytes)

We tend not to laugh at things because we are too intensely involved in our own process to find the humour. Some people are too stressed to find humour around them, but its there for the taking. Stop! Look! Notice your situation! Take the time to look at it from any weird, warped, or skewed perspective. The more bizarre your can make it, the better the chuckle and emotional enjoyment.

For example, go to your next meeting that you are dreading because it truly makes you bored and figure out who would be most like your mother or father or brother or sister. Start a small yawn and see how many other people you can make yawn. Or when you go out for Chinese food, read your fortune cookie note and add "…in bed" at the end of it. Whatever it takes to make the experience more enjoyable, do.

When you know something is going to happen that frustrates you, look for some way to pour humour into it. Anticipate the frustration and see if you can throw humour into the situation instead. I once received a phone call from a telephone solicitor who was trying to sell me a subscription to something or other. Normally these people tend to drive me crazy with their fast talk and innuendo that you are less than intelligent for saying “no” to such a “great offer”. I made a decision that I would endeavour that throw in some humour instead of frustration and that I would stay on the line as long as the other person wanted to but without buying. Eventually the “seller” and I were talking about how they didn’t really like their job and how they wanted to go back to school for a totally different career. I would never have believed that it would be possible to talk to a telephone solicitor in that way. It gave me a great chuckle!

2. Be Silly At Least Once A Week!

pe01928_.wmf (4954 bytes) When was the last time you did anything silly? If you can’t remember, it probably means that you are taking life a little too seriously and need to loosen up a bit. If you have never taken time to be silly, you have then never experienced the freedom and joy that comes with it. If you have kids, it is even more important to practice this skill on some kind of regular basis.

Some people have difficulty being silly because they are too fearful of what other people might think. If this is the case, you may want to work on your self-esteem. But everyone can start in the privacy of their own home, with just your family. Dad, bring home silly hats for everyone to wear at the dinner table. Mom, serve a cake with (candy) worms in it. Whatever it takes, but tasteful silliness makes for good memories.

Then it can be very refreshing to expand you silliness into your work. Naturally, there is a time for it and times when it would not be appropriate, but even planning the silliness for an appropriate time can be very stress relieving. It gives you a little mental vacation from dealing with the stressful stuff of the job. Even imaging the execution of silly behaviour is, in and of itself, stress reducing.

Do The Occasional Crazy Thing! (Not recommended for highly disturbed people! Highly recommended for overly responsible people!)

My wife and I are very responsible people. We hold responsible jobs and are responsible with our children and responsible with our money and responsible with most everything in life. However, sometimes always being hyper-responsible means that you lose some of the excitement in life. So, my wife and I have occasionally had "Irresponsibility Days". It doesn’t mean doing things that might hurt other people because ultimately that’s not really fun anyway; but rather, doing things differently than you would normally. It means eating cake for breakfast or not doing the dishes, ordering take-out at midnight, or not mowing the lawn today or taking your kids over to a friend’s house just so you can lounge in bed reading the paper with your cup of coffee. It can mean everyone jumping in the car and driving around wearing only pajamas on. These are just little things that can be a little crazy and can create wonderful memories for your relationship with your spouse and children.

4. Plan Spontaneity In Your Life!

BS00866A.gif (2576 bytes) The best humour comes spontaneously. At times, life can become a grind of going to work, paying the bills, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and doing it all over again the next day. Try planning a day or part of a day (even a few hours) as being time for spontaneity. And do whatever. Make sure that the attitude for this time is FUN! Brainstorm fun things to do and go and do them. It may be just going to a park, swimming, or flying a kite. Allow it to be like a small holiday or vacation from your everyday life, and it will be.

5. Share Your Embarrassing Moments with Others

So why shouldn’t others benefit humorously from the outrageous things that you do. Yes, they are embarrassing, but sharing them with others brings great laughter for them and for you. Others will then feel more comfortable sharing their embarrassing moments and the laughter continues.

6. Laugh when others laugh.

It is interesting to watch people. Some people simply do not laugh (or if they do it is in a closet in their basement) even when you know that they want to laugh. Laughter is like a muscle that needs to be flexed if it is going to stay in shape. So, when others are laughing, join in. Some things are only funny when you are laughing. And everything gets funnier the more that you laugh at it. So, flex that muscle and actually make it a goal to laugh more in your life.

7. Find Friends You Can Laugh With and Become Infectious Yourself!

pe01826_.wmf (18402 bytes) Take the time to be with friends you know you can laugh with. Learn from them and enjoy being with them. If you are really having difficulty with finding humour in your life, find a "humour mentor" - someone who naturally has healthy humour and laughter in their life.

Once you have truly incorporated humour as a part of your own life, become a role model for others. Help others to laugh and learn to even laugh at themselves. Become a role model for your kids. If you can find humour in things that happen to you, your kids will find and use humour in their own lives.

If you have any questions or comments about this publication, feel free to email Russ Webb at russ.webb@spcs.bc.ca.

INTERNET RESOURCES:

Family - The Internet's only site dedicated to parenting humor.
Laughter Tips For The Work Place – part of an article to help give you ideas for increasing your fun at work.
Laughter Tips for Relationships – part of the article giving ideas for laughing more with your partner.
Coping Skills Test – Take this online test to see if you have the resiliencies for living with stress.
A Complete List of the Best Comedy Links On The Net. A listing of sites that you can check out to tickle your funny bone.
Humour As A Coping Mechanism - an Article in a series by Shara Rendell-Smock discusses how humour helps people in helping professions deal with the stress and strain of their jobs.

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Copyright © 2002 - 2004. All Rights Reserved. Disclaimer. Last modified: August 05, 2004. The Tumbler Ridge Counselling Service is a part of the Northeast Counselling Services and the Northern Health Authority.