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Strategies
For Beating Worry Before It Beats You!
By
Russ Webb
There is always something to worry about. Even if most of your life is going well, worry has a way of finding something to focus on and can rob us of all the joy within our lives. If you are not sure if you are a worrier, ask yourself the following questions:
· Does your spouse/friend comment that you "worry too much"?
· Do you tend to focus on the negatives within your life?
· Do you do a lot of "wishing" that you could do something to resolve a situation?
· Do you feel "If only..." with regularity in your life?
· Do you feel powerless over the problems you focus on causing your energy to drain?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you probably have had difficulties with worry taking control over your life. Life can be difficult enough without the added stress of worry. Worry can drain us of our energy and joy within our lives. Implement these ten worry-busting strategies to not let worry get the better of you:
1.
Understand the Nature of Worry.
Worry tends to be a type of over
thinking, where we focus on things that are out of our control. Worry is also future focused.
We don’t worry about the things that are behind us, but what we imagine
may be ahead of us. This focus on
things "out-of-our-control" will consume our thoughts and emotional
energy. We then will build imagined future negative scenarios, which only
disturb us. We develop scenarios
until we find the scenario that leaves us feeling the most out of control.
This leaves us feeling paralyzed, helpless and victimized. It is at this
point that worry, a form of anxiety leads us to feeling depressed.
As you can see, if we don’t address the worry in our lives, it can significantly decrease the quality of our lives.
2.
Recognize When You Worry.
As simple as this seems, it is critically important to know when you are actually worrying. Some people worry and aren’t even aware they are doing it and yet it is negatively affecting their attitude and mood. If you are to make a concerted effort to change, you need to ask yourself more often, “Am I worrying?” especially when you notice negative feelings coming on.
3.
Recognize What's In Your Control
and Focus On It.
When you realize that you have been
worrying, clarify within your own mind what is and is not in your control in
regards to the situation. It may
even be helpful to sit down with a piece of paper and draw a large circle.
Then, write those things that are out of your control outside the circle
and those things within your control, inside the circle.
The purpose of this is to help you focus on what is in your
control, which automatically helps you feel more positive and empowered.
If you can, hand over what is not in your control to God, then stop
thinking and take action.
4.
Take Action Where You Can On What's In
Your Control.
It is not good enough to simply focus on what is in your control. To start feeling better, you must start to make plans for addressing what is in your control. The more plans and alternative plans you make, the better. Then take action where you can take action. The more that you actually do something about how you are feeling, the better you will feel. Don’t let procrastination entrench you in your worrying pattern. Take some action as soon as possible.
5.
Address Your Worst-case Scenario.
One man I knew continually worried about the fact that he knew he was going to be laid off from his work. It consumed and paralyzed him. Eventually, he was laid off, but it took 2 years. It was a miserable 2 years for this man. Another fellow, who was also laid off, had been planning for it and had been taking courses, saving money and positioning himself for where he could find work when he was laid off. Which one do you think felt better and lived better during the two years of anticipation? And which one, do you think got a job faster after the layoff? It’s not rocket science, but it is planning and taking action for one’s life.
6.
Get Support.
It is amazing what people can do together that they cannot do alone. It can be extremely valuable to talk with someone who is a good listener and talk through the above process. You must recognize that you may be blind to seeing where you can take action, but someone else might be able to help you to see where you do have control. Then you can build strategies and take action. If you have chronic worry that has been plaguing you for a long time, you may benefit from seeking counselling to address this pattern in your life.
7.
Avoid Unhealthy Ways of Coping –
Alcohol, Drugs, and Denial.
It is very important to realize
that we have a choice in how we choose to cope with the stresses of life.
We need to recognize we have the power to make healthy choices for
ourselves, which would include using alcohol or drugs to numb us.
These strategies only postpone dealing with the worry and can make our
problems worse.
8.
Recognize Stress and Develop Strategies
For Addressing It.
If you are feeling stressed as a part of your worry. Take control of your
stress by developing a plan for dealing with it. There are many positive
ways of handling stress including: exercise, walking, swimming, writing out your
thoughts and feelings, meditation, prayer, relaxation techniques, a hot bath,
reading a good book, spending time out in nature, talking it out with a good
listener over a cup of coffee, getting a massage, getting more sleep, or doing
something silly or playful just to enjoy the laughter. If your stress is
long term, consider talking to someone about developing a strategy so that you
can positively cope through out the situation.
9.
Edit Your Life and Strive For Balance.
Many times we become too busy to even have the opportunity to breathe, let alone be able to do things for ourselves that will lower or stress and worry. Consider editing your life by cutting out activities where you find that your involvement only adds more stress and worry. Try and find balance in your life by having activities, which balance your needs with the needs of others.
10.
Feel Good About The Action You Have Taken
and What You Accomplish.
Once you have taken the action that you
can (even if it may have been very difficult) on those things that are within
your control. Take time to notice how much better you feel. Take
time to feel good about the fact that you took action rather than just being
passive and using our energy to simply sit and worry.
Worry
will always be a part of our human existence, but by using these strategies, you
can minimize the paralyzing impact of worry in your life and begin living life
in a fuller more rewarding way.
If you have any questions or comments about this article, please feel free to send us an email at trcs@spcs.bc.ca. If you would like to talk to a counsellor, please call us at 242-5505 to make an appointment. To find out more about what counselling is like at the Tumbler Ridge Counselling Service, CLICK HERE!
Related Resources:
- Self Transformation Series #6 - Handling Worry - An article on ways to better handle worry. http://www.info.com.ph/~tspeace/trans_06.htm
- The Good Relaxation Guide - learn some important tips to healthy relaxation. http://www.ridgeway-surgery.demon.co.uk/health/relax.htm
- Anxiety Center - For persons dealing with phobias, panic attacks, unrelenting anxiety/worry, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, or traumatic stress/post-traumatic symptoms. Lead by seasoned therapist in the treatment of anxiety. http://www.anxiety-center.com/
- Chronic Worry: What You Can Do If Worry Has Taken Over Your Life. http://panicdisorder.about.com/library/weekly/aa110100a.htm
- Dealing with Change in the Workplace - With Corporate restructuring and downsizing, it can be emotionally difficult to adjust to all the changes that can take place. Get some strategies to survive and thrive in midst of all of the change.
- Top 10 Tips For Balancing Work and Family - Sometimes it can be difficult to keep everyone happy in your life. Balancing work and family life are important to emotional and relationship health. Find out some tips on how to get that balance for yourself.
- Dealing with Life Uncertainty: Seven Strategies For Success - Life has many ups and downs. There are times in our lives when it can feel like life has control of us more than we have control over our own lives. Uncertainty usually brings up feelings of being out of control, fear, anxiety, worry, self-doubt, depression, and sometimes can even feel totally overwhelming. So, what do you do? Consider these seven strategies to not allow the uncertainty to rule your life.
- Humour is No Joking Matter: Five Tools To Gain More of It In Your Life - We all need humour in our lives. Laughter is a wonderful way of dealing with the stress and pressure we have in our lives. Learn some strategies to find more humour in your life.
- Strategies for Dealing with Uncertainty for You and Your Family - Uncertainty can cause a great deal of stress for workers and their families. Our children do not go untouched by it all, as they sense and know more than we give them credit. They too feel the uncertainty. If they feel that a change shakes the family stability, they may negatively act out their feelings. This leads to parent-child conflict and greater family tension. Anticipated change can also trigger anticipated loss and grief. So, what can a family do to cope during a time of transition, uncertainty and stress? Here are 8 strategies for you and your family to consider.
- Beating Negative Self-Talk Before It Beats You - Learn about negative self-talk and how it can negatively impact your life. Learn an important tool which allows you to combat the negative thinking in your life and begin feeling good about yourself.
