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Tumbler Ridge Counselling Services |
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Alcoholism: |
Alcoholism is a one of the biggest health problems in the U.S. Most "typical" alcoholics are married with jobs and family responsibilities. Alcoholism is an illness that consumes entire families. Because the feelings, thoughts and actions of everyone in the family are affected by the alcoholic's drinking, it is often called a family disease. Family members cannot control the alcoholic's drinking but they can control how it affects their own lives.
It is a disease that develops slowly and often it takes years before a family may seek help. Some typical warning signs of alcoholism are:
- Frequent use - drinking more often and in larger amounts
- Promises to drink less or to switch types of liquor and requests to stop "nagging" Ignoring or avoiding responsibilities and a lack of interest in activities without alcohol
- Increased "blackouts" - when a drinker cannot remember what happened during a drinking period
- Increased tolerance- drinking in greater amounts to get the desired effect.
- Appearing sober after drinking large amounts of alcohol
Alcoholics rely on drinking to function and they become physically addicted to alcohol. Alcoholism is hereditary and certain people have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism.
Alcoholics often give reasons or excuses for continuing to drink and blame others for their drinking. Because alcoholism is a family problem, everyone in the family suffers. Some typical problems include:
- Guilt- family members begin to believe the alcoholic's accusations and take the blame.
- Shame- family members withdraw from social activities and keep others away from their home because they are embarrassed by the drinker's behavior.
- Resentment- Children can lose respect for the non-alcoholic parent for not doing anything.
- Insecurity- alcoholic behavior is unpredictable. As alcoholics drink more and more, they neglect family responsibilities.
- Financial problems- alcoholism almost always threatens job security and financial affairs.
- Delinquency- children often act out their resentment and neglect by behaving destructively.
Recovery begins when the alcoholic and the rest of the family recognize the disease and the affect it has on the entire family. Family members need to face the truth and find sources of help such as Al-Anon and individual therapy. They can encourage the alcoholic to get help and provide information about treatment options or speak to a professional about an intervention.
Family members should pursue their own interests regardless of the alcoholic's behavior. An unhappy, isolated family will not be motivated to help themselves or the alcoholic. Others should not take the blame for the alcoholic's behavior and should remember that they are not the cause or reason for the drinking and behaviors that go along with it. Families should not threaten without acting. They can obtain the advice of a professional and then decide on a course of action. Enabling or covering for the alcoholic takes theresponsibility from the drinker and he or she does not have to experience the negative consequences of the drinking. The following are some things that family members should NOT do :
- Threaten, bribe or punish the person into quitting.
- Hide or dump bottles. Remember that you cannot control someone else's behavior.
- Take over responsibilities for the person.
- Cover up problems that occur as a result of drinking.
- Drink with the alcoholic -you may end up with a drinking problem yourself.
- Accept unrealistic promises. Alcoholism is not a failure of willpower. Most people need some sort of help to quit their drinking and the only way to handle the disease is to stop drinking.
Once someone accepts and seeks help for a drinking problem, the results may be slow. Recovery is difficult and as a family member, it is important to be supportive and patient. Family problems do not disappear overnight, once the drinking stops. There has been a lot of pain and chaos in the family for a long time and the family may need therapy and support through programs like Al-Anon. Relapses can occur as in any illness. This does not mean the person has failed. Try to be patient and supportive and remember that recovery is a process. Families need support and guidance from people who understand the problem.
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email Russ Webb at russ.webb@spcs.bc.ca.
- Al-Anon/Alateen
(http://www.Al-Anon-Alateen.org/) - Alcohol and Drug
Recovery Association of Ontario (ADRAO)
(http://www.kw.igs.net/~adrao/) - Alcohol Recovery
Workbook
(http://www.alcoholrecovery.com/)
By Christopher Stiff. A synthesis of the best techniques in use today in programs across Canada and the United States, developed by physicians, psychologists, sociologists, therapists, counsellors and recovering alcoholics themselves. - Alcoholics
Anonymous World Services
(http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/) - Another Empty
Bottle
(http://www.alcoholismhelp.com/help/)
A site for the friends and family of alcoholics. It contains information about alcoholism; links to sites on alcoholism, depression, domestic abuse, family, self-help; help groups and hotlines; personal stories submitted by visitors; an informative kid's section; a one-stop recovery site building shop for those wishing to create their own recovery Web site; a listing of chat rooms; a discussion area for visitors to post questions or comments; and more. - BCRecovernet
(http:\\www.BCRecovernet.org)
BCRecovernet is full of medical, psychological, legal and recovery options for people who prefer a reasoned, empiracally grounded approach to recovery. Financed by Alcohol and Drug Dependency Services BC and dedicated volunteers. - Big Book of
Alcoholics Anonymous
(http://electricstores.com/bigbook) - Bridge of
Humanity, Inc.
(http://www.bridgeofhumanity.com)
A service coordinating company that provides tools for the enhancement of self help and recovery groups. - The
Centre for Recovery from Drug and Alcohol Abuse
(http://dialspace.dial.pipex.com/town/terrace/gjl37/index .shtml)
This is an information and advice centre concerning drug and alcohol abuse. It's intended to help those with a drug or alcohol problem - and their family or friends. There's something for everyone here. This is a UK site - we are based in Aberystwyth, west Wales. - Cocaine Anonymous
(http://www.ca.org) - Hope and Healing
webChonicles
(http://www.hopeandhealing.com)
A journal of the spiritual journeys and personal transformations possible for the family affected by alcoholism. - Information
about Narcotics Anonymous
(http://users.aol.com/na4napa/na1.html) - Narcotics Anonymous
(http://na.org/index.htm) - National Association
for Children of Alcoholics
(http://www.health.org/nacoa/) - Online AA Resources
(http://www.recovery.org/aa/) - Personal Improvement
Computer Systems
(http://www.lifesignusa.com)
Self-help health improvement computer programs to assist those who want to make a positive healthy lifestyle change by quitting smoking, weight reduction, cholesterol and hypertension control. - Psychological
Self-Help (book)
(http://www.cmhc.com/psyhelp/) - The Recovery
Connection
(http://www.recoveryconnection.com)
Offers services to recovering substance abusers, including Self Assessment, Daily Check-in, Biblio-Therapy from noted authors, Daily Quotes and discussion groups monitored by professional therapists. - Smart Recovery Self
Managment and Recovery Training
(http://www.smartrecovery.org)
SMART Recovery is an abstinence-based, not- for-profit organization with a sensible self-help program for people having problems with drinking and using.
